Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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