I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize