I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
