He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
