I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
