ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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