yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
MIDGETS
????
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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