i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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