we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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