Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
