sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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