i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
