and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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