Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize