i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
worst night to have a conscience
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
