I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
