the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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