I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
4 words: hood of his car
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize