well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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