i barfeds in our rink
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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