ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize