we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
