In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
