We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Couch. On fire.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
