What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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