Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
