Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
