Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The best revenge is premature balding
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
