I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
