he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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