pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I am one with the molecules
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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