I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize