i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
