He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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