Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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