he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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