It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
