He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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