how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish i was in the wii world.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
