Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she peed on how many people?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
