He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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