Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
