ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I checked into jail on foursquare
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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