Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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