the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
