I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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