glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
