ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
