I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
