remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
