Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
