if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
