Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
