he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
