Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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