i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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