I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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