I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
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