Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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