i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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