it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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