Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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