Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize